El Gitano Peñasco, "The Peñasco Gypsy"
No, I’m not talking about the most recent donation whereby an ambulance from the good folks at Life Line Ambulance Service Inc. will soon be parked at our International airport, but instead an ambulance strategically located in the center of town that will respond to specific medical emergencies for our visiting turistas and especially those of the Gringo variety.
Here’s how it would work--- but do keep in mind the incredible stressful lives that these poor souls from the ‘Old-Country’ live under in their mostly corrupt and crime ridden communities, etc., especially those residents under the false illusion that they are all living in freedom!
My idea is that this Turista Ambulance would be filled with fresh Fish Tacos served on handmade flour or corn tortillas, have lots of different varieties of Salsas on board, all sorts of ice cold Mexican Cervezas (including cases of Pacifico), a selection of quality Tequilas and maybe even some Cuban Cigars and affordable duty-free ‘smokes’ (aka: Cigarettes).
Then, in each hotel/motel room in town (including home and condo rentals) there would be a small removable banner attached to each TV screen that reads (e.g.): “Warning! If you drove down here at 80 mph and flipped off everyone you passed on the road then you require immediate care. Dial *Viva Peñasco! “
Next, the ‘crews’ for the Ambulance could be like the local Tecate Girls (and Boys), except dressed in traditional Mexican attire. And as they rush to a crisis in the Ambulance instead of blasting the siren they’ll play some great Mexican music while in route to the emergency!
Once on site the ‘crew’ will place the person or persons on a gurney and take the patient(s) back to the Ambulance. Then off they’ll go to the nearest beach as the ambulance attendant begins to administer all the goodies stored on board and in sufficient quantities the patient(s) requires in order to ‘chill’ and recover from their stressful existence.
Now at the beach, with the patient(s) vital signs returning to normal, one of the attendants will tell them: “Welcome home my friend! Here you’ll enjoy the beaches, the people, the sunrises, the sunsets, star-filled nights, the marine life, the food, the drink and the shopping so by all means relax while here because you are not in Kansas anymore and in Peñasco you and your family are safe!”
Now repeat after me: ¡Viva Puerto Peñasco y México! ¡Viva Puerto Peñasco y México! ¡Viva Puerto Peñasco y México!
A Gypsy can always dream!